Aut in Sight Aut in Mind
Here’s a thought from me (me being a late diagnosed Autistic woman/Mum of two Autistic children).
In our house, we speak about Autism in a matter of fact way. We acknowledge differences, we acknowledge shared experiences, we acknowledge diversity- including neurodiversity.
We talk about masking/unmasking, we talk about stimming, we talk about the frustration/confusion/overwhelm that arises from a pattern of behaviour being broken in a way that feels unfair, a broken pattern that can never be remedied (this might seem like a random example, but it was drawn from a very tearful conversation with my son a few minutes ago #RecencyEffect).
We link these things to our Autistic Identities; we develop (over time) an understanding that lots of people don’t have the same experience as us and might not understand these things. Not because these things are wrong, but because lots of people aren’t Autistic, and lots of people don’t know much about Autism (yet).
We do this because in knowing ourselves we can know our needs (as a family and as individuals) and move towards finding our Autistic wellbeing, our flavour of flourishing.
I know I am talking about talking, and there are many Autistics who don’t talk in the way I am talking about. Neurodevelopmental divergence indeed results in a range of neurodevelopmental profiles. But please understand that the core message here still applies.
Tiptoeing around Autism and trying not to mention it gives the impression that Autism is something wrong, something shameful, something to be feared and avoided. Matter-of-fact, open dialogue about Autism within the family culture coupled with *developmentally appropriate* information shared with children as they grow in age and readiness can help develop a positive Autistic Identity and support mental health in the long term.
“Fear of a name increases fear of the thing itself” - Dumbledore (book)/ Hermione (movie) but JK Rowling all round.