Monday, November 18, 2013

seeking solace

{my writing was inspired by no. 18 in the november prompt-a-day at write alm.}

making the transition from home to school is a tough one for ander.  it's not necessarily easier for him to transition back to home from school, either, it's just different.  i spend time and emotional energy thinking about how i can make these transitions smoother and easier and more comfortable (or at least less uncomfortable) for him.

the kids have short school days on mondays so the teachers can use the much-needed, student-free time to work. diana stayed at school to practice with her strings teacher, so ander and i had the opportunity to walk home alone, together.

on our walks (or rides) home - and for some time after we've arrived - i usually hear a torrent of anecdotes pouring from diana, intermittently punctuated by frequent, loud, and usually unrelated outbursts from ander as he seeks to be heard.  today, though, ander had no one to compete with, and his words came more easily, his thoughts more completely expressed, his antics more pure in showing his excitement rather than gaining attention.

it was a fine afternoon, weather-wise, and in between playing rounds of his invented game of "being losted" we stopped each and every time he found a perfect stick or a place to dig or a different ground surface or feature to investigate.  we talked very little, but ander occasionally hummed a tune from the vast repertoire in his head and invited me to sing along with him as he drummed a rhythm, reveling in the sounds we made.

trusty lego rocket in hand. because LEGO.
he had informed me of at least three different things he wanted to do when we got home.  somehow, though, all those plans were forgotten as some new joys caught his eye: the seven silly eaters (which he said he had read before and wanted to take a look at again) and the wedgits set we borrowed yesterday from a friend.  he loves patterns, and building, and building patterns.  and he's been happy all the rest of the afternoon.

so i had been seeking ways to soothe and comfort him when he does not care to go from here to there.  today i was quiet and observant and patient and responsive only to him.  i gave him space to find his own solace in his own way.  he did.  that brings me comfort, too.

5 comments:

  1. Watching you parent makes me a better parent.

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    1. i'm so grateful that you have faith and trust in me with them.

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  2. sometimes we have to push our worrying aside and let them lead. they'll always let us know what they need, we just have to listen, be attentive and it seems you've done that beautifully!

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    1. thanks, amanda. i forget that quite often. this was a much-needed and effective reminder for me.

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  3. Thank you so much for sharing your thoughts on this. It sounds like you giving your son space to find his own solace worked really well, and through your giving you also received your own solace. Beautiful illustration of compassion all round, I'd say! Thanks again for sharing your story :-)

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