she's been doing this since we met during my first year of college. or maybe second. not that it really matters. she's known me for approximately the same length of time that steve has, and she hasn't abandoned me yet, so i guess she's in for the long haul of friendship with me.
something culminated in me during this visit. we always take pictures and share them with each other. the ones she took this time, though, made me catch my breath. i cried when i first saw some of them in small form on her camera's screen, and i'm crying again as i look through them on my computer.
they are photos of me. me with my children. me with her. me alone.
i'm crying because i am happy.
you may recall my word for the year is release. i recently reread some posts which are included on my "things i mull over" tab, on staying in the picture and telling my kids i am beautiful.
shari's quiet, gentle, patient capture of my image releases me from my worry over how i look. my body is soft and round. it is the body that comforts and reassures my children and makes them feel safe and loved. i need not be ashamed nor proud, just willing to accept and love it.
shari's presence at all the moments of our life for the days she was here allowed her to photographically record what i do. her effort releases me to recognize that what i do with my children is visible, tangible, powerful. i can easily sense my love and my joy in these moments. she has thoughtfully ensured that they will be deeply etched into my memory.
so it turns out that i do love what she sees. truly.
thank you for that priceless gift, my friend.