she suggested a book for me to read - one she had found fascinating and enlightening. it's called quiet.
i googled it and found the author susan cain's TED talk about the power of introverts. i bookmarked it to come back to when i had time alone to watch it, which was now, late at night, when the kids are asleep and the whole house is quiet.
it brought me to tears. tears of relief that someone else could so accurately describe the how and why of who i am, of who my daughter is, of who i think my son may be.
i think it explains why homeschooling works as well as it does for diana, and for me, too. the opportunity to be flexible with how we choose our space and our time and our companions and the way we work together. we can read or watch together and discuss and then go back to reading or writing or getting in our creative zone - alone.
don't get me wrong - we do enjoy our group activities. diana loves to go to her classes in aikido and irish dance and weaving and clay and go on tours and explorations and to book club. after each activity, though, even as soon as she gets into the car, she finds something to read and asks me if we could stop talking for a while. she's happier one-on-one with her piano teacher, in individual lessons in watercolor technique, in her intimate group for nature journaling, in imaginative play or intense discussion with a single friend. and i think she is at her most creative in long periods of solitude. hers is a process that cannot be rushed; her most self-satisfying work comes out of having the time and the space and the quiet to allow her ideas to take shape and develop.
i thrive in the warmth of gathering together with welcoming friends, but i discover more about myself and the world in the quiet of conversation's end when we part.
i appreciate meeting with others to discuss a common topic, but my clearest thinking is in quiet contemplation.
i am looking forward to reading this book. i recommend viewing this TED talk, whether you find yourself more introverted or extroverted. if you're like me, you may find comfort. if you're not like me, well, you may just come to understand me a little better.
i am happyer at home because home is a refuge, a source of solace and quiet.