yesterday i was cranky. i was griping and complaining and ranting and raving and got up on my soapbox and shouted about how i was sick and tired of hearing people complain and why can't everyone just talk nicely and calmly to each other, anyway, and it's so hard to remain positive when there's so much negativity flying around.
uh, yeah. isn't there an idiom about the pot calling the kettle something?
fortunately, the audience for said rant was gentle and sympathetic and did not point out to me how i sounded. i thanked her later for letting me vent. i didn't know i was holding in so much.
i felt "off" and let it show. i wasn't in sync with my kids or my spouse or any other people or the world at large. i was this close to calling it quits with my social networking and volunteer work. just be done with it all and crawl into a cave and insulate myself from rampant and judgmental, narrow-minded thinking, including my own.
then i read n is for network at lisa nalbone's blog. and it got me thinking, as it often does. i commented on her post with my initial thoughts.
i've been pondering it since and have been very pleased to discover that i was much, much happyer at home today. i don't need to throw out my nets, i just need to attend to them and assess how they are working (or not) for me and mindfully make repairs and expand or contract my nets as necessary. i want to be an active participant in my networks, giving and receiving in ways that are mutually beneficial - so that the ideas and people i connect with support and strengthen me just as i strive to do for them.
i connected better with my children and my spouse today. i felt more in tune with my values.
thank you, lisa, for helping me refocus.